Our daughter Greta was born in Italy five years ago and was only nine month old when we moved to Ireland. We spoke our mother tongues to her without even deciding. It was natural and our English did not feel good enough to be the language of choice. The decision which language to speak might be more difficult for parents who lived for years in a country where on a daily basis they speak another language than their own. I would encourage parents to speak the language that feels natural to them to speak to their children, that comes from their hearts without thinking too much about what is good for the child’s future. Even if they do not remember any nursery rhymes or songs in their mother tongue that does not impact the outcome. The Internet helps to refresh these abilities. 

In our family, we are lucky that as parents we both speak the language of each other so I can understand when Domenico and Greta are chatting and vice versa. It still happens that I ask myself if this is my daughter when she speaks Italian because it seems as if her personality changes. What occurs naturally is that her vocabulary is different in all three languages. In Italian she knows a lot more words related to cooking and eating because talking about food is a big part of the Italian culture (but obviously not the German). Language is not only the language itself, but is connected to so many layers of cultural understanding, hints between the lines and nonverbal expressions. I love the way Italians speak with their whole body and a slightly different position of the hands can mean a completely different thing. Children learn all this naturally and they learn it more easily when they are able to visit their mother’s or father’s home country. Greta’s three cousins back in Germany help a lot to create a significant bond with language and culture. Also her grandmother, aunt, uncle etc. are helpful in this sense. But children are more powerful “teachers”.