Parents of bilingual children often tell me that the reason why they moved to Ireland is for their children to become fluent speakers of English. Sometimes I come across parents who avoid speaking their mother tongue to make sure that their children develop English to the best of their abilities. This week I met a dad who said that he didn’t make a conscious choice about language use in his trilingual family, things just happened naturally. His wife spent the early years with the child and spoke her language to him, the common family language was English, and his own mother tongue never had any role or space in the family life. Now his child doesn’t understand the paternal grandparents and needs the dad to act as an interpreter. While this didn’t seem to be an issue before, it is now becoming more and more frustrating for the child to have a conversation with the dad’s family and he is losing interest in talking to them.
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There are many reasons why parents in Ireland might choose not to speak their mother tongue to their children or might unconsciously slip into a habit of speaking English.
Some people have been advised against bilingualism by uninformed (usually monolingual) people who shared their own unfounded concerns about bilingualism. Sometimes people feel that English is enough. There is only so much time in one day. Mum and dad can speak English, after all. Teachers, friends and neighbours can all speak English, so are we wasting our time with home languages?
This question is flawed in many ways. Think about it. We know that children who go to libraries regularly end up loving books and, in turn, become skilled readers and do well in school. So we take babies to libraries to encourage them to enjoy reading because we know the effect that this will have on their future. We know that team sports are fantastic for children’s physical and emotional development. With this in mind, parents spend hours driving their children to matches and training sessions because they know the impact this will have in the short and long term. But when it comes to languages, do we take the same approach?
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There are many reasons why parents in Ireland might choose not to speak their mother tongue to their children or might unconsciously slip into a habit of speaking English.
Some people have been advised against bilingualism by uninformed (usually monolingual) people who shared their own unfounded concerns about bilingualism. Sometimes people feel that English is enough. There is only so much time in one day. Mum and dad can speak English, after all. Teachers, friends and neighbours can all speak English, so are we wasting our time with home languages?
This question is flawed in many ways. Think about it. We know that children who go to libraries regularly end up loving books and, in turn, become skilled readers and do well in school. So we take babies to libraries to encourage them to enjoy reading because we know the effect that this will have on their future. We know that team sports are fantastic for children’s physical and emotional development. With this in mind, parents spend hours driving their children to matches and training sessions because they know the impact this will have in the short and long term. But when it comes to languages, do we take the same approach?
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You won’t be surprised to hear that many parents think that is more important for their child to do well in sports than to be fluent in the home language, a language that only a handful of people in Ireland speak. The truth is, to speak your mother tongue to your child you don’t need expensive equipment or refined teaching skills. You need time and dedication. You need to keep in mind that what you are doing has an incredibly positive impact on the child’s mental, emotional and psycho-social development. But why can’t your child just live with one language and get on with life like every other monolingual child in the world? Unfortunately, it is not as simple as that. By not speaking their mother tongue to their child, parents have made a decision on behalf of their child. They have decided that their child should live without a part of their family history and identity. They have decided that this child won’t join in conversations at the dinner table with the extended family. They have decided that one language is more important than the other. And the truth is that the majority of these children are the ones who fill language classes as adults. They want to reconnect to something that has been missing in their lives.
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You won’t be surprised to hear that many parents think that is more important for their child to do well in sports than to be fluent in the home language, a language that only a handful of people in Ireland speak. The truth is, to speak your mother tongue to your child you don’t need expensive equipment or refined teaching skills. You need time and dedication. You need to keep in mind that what you are doing has an incredibly positive impact on the child’s mental, emotional and psycho-social development. But why can’t your child just live with one language and get on with life like every other monolingual child in the world? Unfortunately, it is not as simple as that. By not speaking their mother tongue to their child, parents have made a decision on behalf of their child. They have decided that their child should live without a part of their family history and identity. They have decided that this child won’t join in conversations at the dinner table with the extended family. They have decided that one language is more important than the other. And the truth is that the majority of these children are the ones who fill language classes as adults. They want to reconnect to something that has been missing in their lives.
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As I put her to bed, my daughter asks for a story in English. There is a book just there beside me, I can pick it up and start reading. I am tired, it will be easy for me to go with her wishes and not engage in a discussion. However, I remember that I am her only link with Italian right now and I owe this to her. I scan my childhood memories. I remember a story about a small orange that lost his mum in the fruit market. I don’t know why it stayed with me. It is a very simple story, but one that my mum “repackaged” in many adventurous episodes. As I start to tell the story she voices her disappointment. “Is this an Italian story?”. I tell her that this story means a lot to me, that her grandmother used to tell me the exact same story, so it is being passed to her now as a special gift. She goes quiet and listens.
As I put her to bed, my daughter asks for a story in English. There is a book just there beside me, I can pick it up and start reading. I am tired, it will be easy for me to go with her wishes and not engage in a discussion. However, I remember that I am her only link with Italian right now and I owe this to her. I scan my childhood memories. I remember a story about a small orange that lost his mum in the fruit market. I don’t know why it stayed with me. It is a very simple story, but one that my mum “repackaged” in many adventurous episodes. As I start to tell the story she voices her disappointment. “Is this an Italian story?”. I tell her that this story means a lot to me, that her grandmother used to tell me the exact same story, so it is being passed to her now as a special gift. She goes quiet and listens.
I belong in two worlds, and it is like having two keys for two doors. My gift to my daughter is the key to my world and hopefully, this will lead to many more open doors and many language adventures in her future.
Francesca La Morgia
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